 Provided by Clinician 1
I, as many of my colleagues, I suspect, have a hard time leaving the office, closing the door, and putting the worries of the day behind us. It isn’t as easy as brushing off our proverbial hands, shrugging our shoulders, and saying, “oh well—tomorrow is a new day.” We CARE about our patients. We think about the ramifications of their diseases...the impact these issues have on patients and families...how things will affect their daily lives and needs.
Maybe some of us are fortunate enough to put it aside at the end of the day...but I suspect more of us take it home at night. Perhaps many of us actually have certain issues haunt us after-hours...or even when we try to take a break with sleep.
I suffer from issues with chronic insomnia. I’ve chalked it up to my 10-plus years of working night-shifts as an RN, early-on, as a newbie in the field, then as a new mother who was trying to avoid day-care for her newborn son 12-plus years ago. I would work 12-hour night shifts, several days per week, then come home and stay awake with him until his first nap mid-morning. Then we would play until his longer mid-afternoon nap. I would cat-nap during these brief episodes, until trying to sleep for a precious few hours before the long night shift again the next evening. Chronic sleep deprivation was the “norm” during those first few years of his life.
When I became an NP, I started working a “normal” day-time schedule, usually 8 AM to 5 PM. I THOUGHT, erroneously, that my sleep cycle would regulate after time. Oh, I hoped, dearly, that this would be the case, but alas, it was to elude me like a wisp of smoke.
Now that I have worked as an NP for the past decade, the past three years in Internal Medicine, I would have hoped that sleep would befall me like gentle raindrops. After all, I am no longer a “novice” practitioner. I am more of an “expert,” indeed—a preceptor to others. Yet, while that is true, I also have bonded with my patients in my current practice. I know them well...their nuances, their fears, their family dynamics. I know that the gentleman with the undifferentiated CA of the throat has a wife who will have unrepressed anxiety as they face his metastasis together. I know that the woman with the Stage 4 breast CA and bone metastasis has a husband whose anxiety knows no bounds...although he will hide his symptoms to be strong for his wife.
I know the reasons for my insomnia...and it is, indeed, my patients. I find myself dreaming about their situations...their diagnoses...replaying my days in a “what if” scenario. It isn’t all bad...far from it. My subconscious self allows me to freely explore things I may not think of within the constraints of a time schematic of a 20-minute visit...less when you factor in the time it takes to “room” them. I often wake up, unrested, but yes, many times, I wake with a new idea or way to treat a person.
So I invite anyone with the same issues to look upon our insomnia and “taking home patients,” either through sleep or otherwise, with a new purpose. Sometimes, without the urgency of the confines of an office visit, you may find just what you may have been looking for.
Kim Spering is a family nurse practitioner who currently works at Brndjar Medical Associates, P.C., a family practice in Emmaus, PA. Her past experience includes the fields of medical/surgical ICU, open heart/trauma ICU, labor and delivery, nursing education, nursing supervision, and as a nurse practitioner in both family practice and OB/GYN settings. She currently serves as a NP preceptor for her graduate school alma mater, DeSales University, as well as for local baccalaureate programs. She is passionate about patient education and helping patients understand that they are ultimately responsible for their own health. She also firmly believes that the public needs to be educated on the value of NPs and PAs in meeting the health care needs of the next decade and beyond. In her free time, Kim enjoys family vacations with her optometrist husband, Mark, and her two sons, Matthew and Connor.
The viewpoint expressed in this article is the opinion of the author and is not necessarily the viewpoint of the owners or employees at Healthcare Staffing Innovations, LLC.
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